Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
why is half of my head shaved?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
