If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
