pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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