Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
