I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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