can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
