i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
