apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
