in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she smelled like a LAN party
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
