All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
