I think I won the penis lottery.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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