Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
