The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
