My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
