im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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