Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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