you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
