im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
