im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
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