Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
