Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He did a backflip because drugs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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