$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
