i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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