I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
