I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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