TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
