U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
