You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
