All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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