Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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