Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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