my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
