where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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