i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
