Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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