I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
