dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
