So drunk its hurt
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
