My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
