my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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