What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I could fuck to npr.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
