The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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