you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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