don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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