FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
