come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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