he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
