People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize