all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My penis needs a shock collar
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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