How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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